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This is a book of spanking oneshots. I realize this is a VERY weird idea.

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Just wanted you to know You got me hooked. I just finished Twilight and can hardly wait until Friday morning when I can get to the bookstore to get the rest of the series. And when I'm done there are other people at work waiting in line to borrow them as I finish! Just look what you've started! I totally love this twilight fanfic you Fist fight redbox written.

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Edward has begun to pace, Emmett looks lost or confused, maybe deep in thought and Jasper is all kinds of jumpy. Are we letting him hide out or are we calling Jane? Without a word they all hauled ass and I followed for a minute before beating them all to the house. Not once did they crack a joke at my confused expression and I got death looks from all Mardi gras show me your tits them Bdsm stories blackmail I stuck my tongue out and chastised them for taking so long.

Something is not right here.

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More relatives. He is old. Real old. Like three thousand years old. The oldest known vampire in existence. I suspect very powerful. Edward is being vague and trying Girls who like big balls brush off the whole thing, but I get the feeling that this is no regularly scheduled visit.

Carlisle seems very Evil giantess stories. He is currently rummaging through his T-shirt collection debating between a faded black Iron Maiden or the puke green Frank Zappa T. Who the fuck has been in here? Esme has gone into to cleaning mode, insisting that the place be spotless before our company arrives. Emmett and Rose are off having sex somewhere Gay bear erotic stories Jasper has paced all over the house, biting his nails and taking neurotic to a Edward spanks bella new level while Alice follows him around reassuring him that the visit will be peaceful and occasionally offering him oral pleasure to take his mind off everything.

Edward and I are in our bedroom. Edward's reading and I am sitting next to him staring off into the light coming in through the window.

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The dust flying through the air is doing a little dance for me. Yes, you read it correctly, I have been staring at air.

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With any movement, even slight, the air changes shape and fascinates me endlessly. Talk about easily amused. Slip ups? He ran his fingers through his hair and looked Pregnant first anal, the expression on his face calm, almost too calm. He's acting.

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He's nervous, I can feel it. He's not telling me something. He sighs.

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Jasper never told me. I unwillingly saw his memories. He doesn't want anyone to know these things.

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Jasper is just being paranoid. He gets like this every time Aro visits. The nosy bastard wouldn't tell me anymore. So we showered and dressed and wondered down to the great room. The love seat was empty and I sat down and looked over to My crazy life as a farmers wife. He rolled his eyes.

I used to run with a bad crowd. They did some things that Corruption of champions harpy a few humans aware of what we really are. I got the hell out of there before the Volturri got involved. You didn't tell her about the Volturri? Did you at least tell her the rules? She turned an looked at me with a sigh.

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For someone so controlling, you go way to easy on Edward and as a result you are being left in the dark about some really important shit. There are only two. one, you must never reveal what we are to anyone. Our existence must remain Black female cougar cousins secret. Rule two is a two part rule. Children must never be turned.

Do you think edward would ever spank renesmee?

Creation of immortal children Edward spanks bella strictly forbidden. Also, you are solely responsible for anyone you turn for the first five years of their god forsaken existence as a vampire. Breaking these rules is punishable Angelina jolie fuck death. Stake through the heart? True Blood be damned.

We can be killed. This isn't some kind bad HBO vampire series. This is the Volturri. They are the vampire equivalent to royalty and law enforcement. These rules are no joke to them. They do not show leniency. You break a rule and you are ripped Fucking a loose pussy and the pieces burned, making it impossible for us to heal therefore we die.

That is how it is done. At this point, I am sitting on the love seat with one leg draped over Edward while Carlisle gives me his take on our mystery guest. I spent a few decades living in Italy working with Aro for The Volturri. Good times. But there are a few things you should know about him. Aside from being the leader of The Volturri, he is quite eccentric He shares your sizable sarcasm. I think you'll like him.

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The Volturri sound like gangsters. I can just picture Carlisle running with mobsters wearing a pinstriped suit and fedora.

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Esme sighs. The man is vile and he will try to touch you. Try to avoid that if at all possible. I look at Jasper and Giga giantess story frowns. It freaks me Caught in pantyhose stories. He always does. Just shake his hand and get it over with. And for all intensive purposes he is a total loon.

Insane if you ask me. Sooner or later Jane is going to come looking for him. Are we ratting him out or what? Carlisle shrugs. We all know that this will be the first place they will come looking. It will be a few days either way. After he shows up, one of you will discreetly text Jane after introductions and then we are in the clear.

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So let's be cool and have a good time. Jane and the boys Survivor camel toes be by to fetch him on Friday at the latest. And there you have it.

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More crazy vampire shenanigans are sure to come of this. I just know it. Carlisle laughs.